The term birth mother is one which is surrounded by myths and misconceptions. However in reality it is an act which takes tremendous self-sacrifice, courage and recognizing that the wellbeing of the child must be held above other factors.
So here are some misconceptions that have been ingrained in society and how to overcome them;
Birth mothers don’t love their child:
It is critical to understand that birth mothers are not trying to get rid of their child; they are actually placing them in loving families which desire and deserve to have them. It is difficult for anyone to understand what they go through when they make this decision. Birth mothers might be stigmatized by some elements of the society, but we must not surrender to such fallacies or allow them to hinder one of the greatest feats of love, compassion and selflessness.
are troubled teenagers:
Another misconception is to think of birth mothers as troubled teenagers who become pregnant out of wedlock. The fact is that 2% of all unmarried women at any age place their child for adoption. Also the percentage of premarital births placed for adoption has decreased since the 1970’s. This indicates that birth mothers come from all backgrounds and races, and have different marital and educational statuses. Teenage motherhood was less accepted by society in the mid-20th century than it is now, so the reasons of placing a child for adoption are much more diverse today than ever before.
are all drug addicts:
This is a case of indiscriminate generalization of birth mothers. There will always be people who have drug related problems, however there is no evidence to suggest that the percentage of drug users amongst birth mothers quantifies greater than the number of drug users in the total population. Society should be wary of such perceptions so as not to cause reluctance amongst adoptive parents who wish to pursue this option.
Will demand their child back:
Once the decision has been made and the process legally finalized, the birth mother cannot claim the child back. There are some rare cases in which the decisions have been overturned but they have been blown out of proportion. In almost all of such cases, the adoptions were not finalized because of certain conditions which the adoptive parents were aware of at the time of placement. The last thing a birth mother would want to do is choose a loving family for their child and then take them back causing an unstable and emotionally distressful experience for their child.
Don’t care where the child ends up:
Birth mothers usually go through a large number of adoptive parent profiles before they make their decision. With so many parents hopeful to adopt, it gives the birth mother a great opportunity to choose the perfect family for their child, one that will love them as their own. It is important to remember that handing over the child is an emotionally difficult experience for the birth mother.
Choose adoption as an alternative to abortion:
Placing a child for adoption should never be viewed as an alternative to abortion, though no one can be certain of why the birth mother has chosen this option, it should rather be viewed as an alternative to parenting.
If a birth mother feels that she may not be able to take care of her child sufficiently, due to emotional or financial reasons, it is in the best interest of the child to place them in a family that is more suitable to do so. It does not indicate that the birth mother would have considered abortion or regrets giving birth.